"Hello. Welcome to the first issue of The Life and Times of Sheldon Grubs. I'm pleased to announce that at the time of this, the third printing (Aug. 2003), there are a total of 8 issues. Perhaps someday there will be a ninth. But it's doubtful since my job as "Captain of the Football Team" takes up the bulk of my time. Anyway, that's all for now. Please proceed to page one." - Introduction